I really cannot live without it..............?
Your probably going to think I am Pathetic, Vain and all the bad thing's you can think of, I have had Bdd from the age of 16 and i'm 20 in three and a bit months.I HATE my eyes, to the point where i thought i will have to gauge them out Or stitch/glue them shut so no on can see them. But I found coloured lenses that didn't look fake and They have taken away so much of the pain I was in for years, BUT now i am terrified of them discontinuing because my only other options would be custom lenses which Cbt Custom cost around £400 - £2,000 for a pair,. The ones I have are around £90- £100 a Year which isn't to bad, So I thought I HAVE to get a good payed Job to afford this So i thought about the OU and psychology I have now applied so hopefully it goes well, I also am trying to do a pitman course but these are 3k + And I am not Rich, So hopefuly My Nan/dad will help me out. And when I am able to work from home Or in society I can pay them back bit bybit (even if they say theres no need)My problem is that I Cannot live without these lenses NO cbt/ therapy has helped me and it never will I can go in with my eyes wide open but I always come out feeling unhelped, I have accepted this BUT no one else will, I understand this But I will not be ok without them so I'd like people to understand this ?Question is how ?(I am on paroxetine (2months now) I think about mu suicide non-stop due to my fears about someone taking away the lense and m life going back to hell, Sometimes I do think if i am going to have all this fear and worry my whole life, will i eveer manage or should I just give up ?)
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